I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
