I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i will never coherently bang her
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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