dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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