3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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