im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
