after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
