if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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