Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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