The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
