There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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