I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
