Do you still have your period?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
