he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
