Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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