Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
