i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
