You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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