Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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