I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
