i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
