Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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