Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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