Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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