the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.