Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.

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  (315): That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge. http://tfl.nu/kztm
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood

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  (905): Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse? (1-905): i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood http://tfl.nu/oc9k
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  (253): View more from Washington

  oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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  (253): oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body. (1-253): I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate. http://tfl.nu/e4ca
  Replies (71) Good night (5485) Bad night (470)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?

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  (772): What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous? http://tfl.nu/ray0
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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  (573): Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/k6zp
  Replies (10) Good night (5928) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.

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  (615): just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here. http://tfl.nu/npdf
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.

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  (480): I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen. http://tfl.nu/7g0m
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome

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  (402): I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome http://tfl.nu/kwzn
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.

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  (215): he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out. http://tfl.nu/9ic8
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  (607): View more from New York

  Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

  (607): View more from New York

  Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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  (607): Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head? (607): Nevermind, it's in the dryer. http://tfl.nu/r8jx
  Replies (6) Good night (3311) Bad night (774)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

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  (440): Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed. http://tfl.nu/3vnt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.

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  (307): Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka. http://tfl.nu/40xv
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case

  (573): View more from Missouri

  WTF.

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  (719): That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case (573): WTF. http://tfl.nu/t6hg
  Replies (6) Good night (1364) Bad night (455)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD

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  (505): I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD http://tfl.nu/div0
  Replies (13) Good night (1294) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...

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  (702): there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya... http://tfl.nu/edke
  Replies (6) Good night (490) Bad night (887) Order T-Shirt

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