would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
