your room smells of hookers.
And success
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
