he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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