Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
