So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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