so explain again why im purple
no
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
did i walk over a car last night?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
