Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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