I'm jealous of your bromance
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
