i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize