Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
