I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
