I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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