Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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