i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My ass is underappreciated
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
