it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
