What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
