i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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