True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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