I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
