I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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