toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
