So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
