i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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