My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
