As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
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I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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