i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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