No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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