does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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