vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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