I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
