Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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