Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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