dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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