I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
