Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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