My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
