Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
