I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and i looked up. we had an audience...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
