I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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