dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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